


Pride

by Jake_the_space_cat



Series: A Creature of Pride (transmasc!Kim AU) [8]
Category: Disco Elysium (Video Game)
Genre: Aging, Character Study, FTM, Gen, Nostalgia, Post-Canon, Trans Character, Trans Kim Kitsuragi, Trans Male Character, Transmasc, ftm Kim Kitsuragi, trans!Kim Kitsuragi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 01:54:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29235633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jake_the_space_cat/pseuds/Jake_the_space_cat
Summary: Lieutenant Kim Kitsuragi is moving his things into his new workplace at Precinct 41. A forgotten old photo slips out from the pages of a notebook.(Dansedan on Tumblr surprised me by doing art for this fic after reading it!Check it out here.)
Series: A Creature of Pride (transmasc!Kim AU) [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2160411
Comments: 8
Kudos: 24





	Pride

It’s not the same posture, but it’s close. His hands behind him, back straight, eyes forward. Darker hair, fewer lines on his face. Different clothes - a deliberately cultivated disorder, everything over-large. Black popped with color--pins, patches, the usual markers of infraculture membership, chaotic allegiance to anything anyone over 21 might find confusing or tasteless. Hostile expression obscured by the thick lenses of glasses just as ugly as his current ones.

An angry young man. The textbook glare: defiance, pride at being old enough (and stupid enough, and having enough similarly stupid friends) to project defiance and have it mean something. Eye contact daring you to break it. Insecurity and fear that adults or your peers will challenge you and your bravado won’t hold. Hope that they _will_ challenge you, and you can prove to yourself that it _will_ hold.

He doesn’t remember that posture and that expression ever going together. He’s _young_ here--not just the performance of youth, but actually young. Still old enough to already be working for the RCM, but young enough that working juvie wasn’t far off from working among peers. Too young to be standing like that.

Being that young meant keeping his shoulders pulled forward, hunched in. It meant never moving too assertively, never letting the outlines of his body really pull against baggy clothing. It meant layering a jacket over a shirt even in warm weather, wearing the jacket open, sure, but keeping those shoulders hunched so the jacket fell slack over his chest, didn’t part too far. It meant a conscious effort to not be worth looking at too hard, to not draw anyone’s eyes for too long.

He takes a moment, trying to feel back in time. Suddenly uncertain. Harry’s already commented on the stiff formal authority of the way he stands; Minot has, as well. Viquemare’s given him a sardonic look or two, but sardonic looks seem to be one of Vicquemare’s go-to expressions.

Did anyone at Precinct 57 ever mention how he stands? He’s almost certain not. For them, he thinks, it was just ‘that’s Lieutenant Kitsuragi.’ Just part of his professional persona, developed naturally over his career with the RCM.

Or--

He rubs his thumb across the photo as he holds it, reassessing the younger man’s expression. The defiance and the sense of daring, the edge of fear and nervousness. Back straight, jacket clearly exposing his black t-shirt and narrow chest.

Oh.

He smiles. Right. He must have _just_ gotten up the nerve to try binding. Is _that_ when he started standing like that? That long ago?

Hm.

It’s funny what you forget as you get older.

He tucks the photo into a folder full of paperwork to take home this evening. Maybe he’ll take Harry’s suggestion and try to loosen up around his colleagues. Or maybe not. Everyone’s allowed a little pride.

**Author's Note:**

> Super self-conscious about this one! Posting it anyway~~~


End file.
